Millicent's Lullaby, or 1st Nights at Collinwood
by WhyTK
Summary: It is Dr. Julia Hoffman's 1st night at Collinwood. Elizabeth tells her some of the family's history.
1. Chapter 1

**"Millicent's Lullaby, or First Nights in Collinwood" ****is a prequel to:  
****1\. Tim Burton's version of ****_Dark Shadows_****, including the deleted scenes on the Blu-Ray Disc.  
****2\. my idea of ****_Dark Shadows 2_****, which I am still working on.  
****3\. Chapter 1 of this story is a loose prequel to "Pretty Young Thing," by ****Nicht Benz. I say "loose" because my version of Dr. Hoffman is not exactly the same as NichtBenz's version. I should have pointed this out in "Dr. Hoffman's 1st Trip to Collinwood." I hope this story meets with Nicht Benz's approval.**

**I do not own _Dark Shadows_ or any of its characters, institutions, or entities. **

**The 1st time I referred to "Millicent's Lullaby" was in "Elizabeth's Secret: Chapter 1," when Elizabeth ****sang it to 5-year old Carolyn. This story will finally explain what "Millicent's Lullaby" is. **

Barnabas and Josette never married, never had children. So from whom are Elizabeth and her family descended? David gave us a clue when he addressed Barnabas as "Uncle Barnabas" after opening the iron coffin in the Collins family mausoleum.

"You see ... sometimes ...  
we make up a fantasy world  
to help us erase horrible memories from our past." - Dr. Julia Hoffman to Barnabas Collins, just before she hypnotizes him in Tim Burton's version of _Dark Shadows_.

October 1969  
Julia's room at Collinwood is bigger than her room at home, and much bigger than the brig or even her cabin on the ship. But she still wants to stretch her legs a bit before making an early night of it. Coming to Collinsport by train somehow wore her out even worse than driving up did.

She hears the singing the moment she opens her door. It is Mrs. Stoddard's voice.

She follows it down the hall and stops a few yards from David's room, whose door is half open. It's a lullaby, one she has never heard before, and she thought her mother knew them all.

She hears David say, "Thank you, Aunt Liz. My Mom says 'Thank you' too."

Mrs. Stoddard replies, "You're welcome, David. Good night." Nothing about telling his mother "You're welcome." She steps out of the room and closes the door behind her. Then she turns, and gasps with surprise when she sees Julia.

"I'm sorry I startled you," Julia hastens to say. "I heard the singing and came down the hall to hear it better. My mother knew a lot of lullabies, but I never heard this one before."

Elizabeth whispers, "It's an old Collins tradition. Let's go someplace where we can talk without whispering. Would you like to join me for a nightcap in the drawing room?"

"I would love to." To herself, Julia says, "Best idea I've heard all day."

But Elizabeth stops in the grand foyer on their way to the drawing room. "I'll make this quick. I know how this floor disturbs you." She points to the painting above the fireplace. "That is Barnabas Collins, the finest man this family ever knew." Then she points to the 2 paintings flanking the arch between the grand foyer and the grand staircase. "Joshua and Naomi Collins, Barnabas's parents." Finally, she points to a 4th painting, an oval one, to the right of the fireplace. "Josette DuPres, Barnabas's fiancée."

Julia concentrates on what Elizabeth is saying, and keeps her head up where she can not see the room's damned wavy blue and white floor.

In the drawing room, Elizabeth pours Scotch for Julia and wine for herself. Then she sits at the organ and plays "Josette's Theme." She turns the volume down as low as it will go, so it won't disturb the other occupants of Collinwood. She sings the lullaby. Then she plays it again, in a different key, and without the words, and tells Julia the story behind it.

"This melody was originally a minuet, in the days when Collinwood was new and the Collins family were 'rich-rich people,' as Willie would put it. Joshua brought the family from England to the New World. He built the business, and Collinwood. The Collins family was the richest in New England, maybe in all of British America. And then it all went wrong. That was the beginning of the Collins Curse.

"Joshua and Naomi were killed in a freak accident. Josette went mad and jumped off Widow's Hill. Barnabas went mad and disappeared, never to be seen again." She pauses to take a sip of her wine.

"Barnabas had an older brother, Jeremiah Collins. Jeremiah disobeyed his father to marry a girl named Millicent Harridge. Joshua disapproved because Millicent's family was poor. She had no dowry or status to bring to the family. He disowned and disinherited Jeremiah.

"But after Barnabas disappeared, Jeremiah took over the manor and the business. He was not as good a business man as his father and Barnabas were. That's when the family fortune began to crumble away.

"With the Revolution underway, Jeremiah decided that privateering was the way to rebuild the family fortune. He spent much of the family's capital to build a ship for the job. Converting an existing ship wasn't good enough for him, he had to build a new ship for his privateer. Millicent disapproved of the whole business. Jeremiah named his ship the _Milllicent_, hoping to change his wife's mind. It didn't.

"Jeremiah and his crew set sail on a beautiful day in the spring of 1777. He left Millicent, who was pregnant at the time, to run the manor and the business. Ship and crew were never seen again.

"Millicent was illiterate when Jeremiah married her. He taught her to read and write and 'do her sums' as the saying at the time went. She proved better at running the business than Jeremiah had been. Without her, we would have been finished way back then. She was the first of many strong Collins women, Collins by birth or by marriage, who kept things going when no Collins man was up to the job. None of them was ever able to restore the business to what it was in Joshua's time, but they endured.

"Millicent's child was a boy, Daniel Collins. He grew up to be a better man than his father. I am proud to be descended from him, and from Millicent. He was thirty-five when the War of 1812 began, and the Collins family enjoyed a brief spell of new prosperity under his management. Instead of building a privateer himself, he sold dried fish to the many other privateers that sailed from Collinsport.

"When Daniel was a child, Millicent added the words to make this music a lullaby, to sing Daniel to sleep all the nights his father did not come home. Generations of Collins women, both Collins by birth and Collins by marriage, have sung it to their children since then. I sang it to Carolyn, Laura sang it to David, and now I sing it to him." She takes a big swallow of her wine. "Did you hear what David said?"

"He thanked you, on his own behalf and on behalf of his mother."

"Carolyn used to sing it to him too. And she used to play it on the organ or the piano, sometimes for hours. Laura would sit nearby, with little David in her lap, and they would listen entranced. Carolyn loved Laura and David. But when Laura died, Carolyn turned cold. She cried for days after Paul left us. She cried for days after we saw her grandparents killed. But she did not grieve or cry for Laura, not once. And she turned cruel. She has never hit David, but the things that come out of her mouth ... What you heard at dinner tonight was typical, she was not showing off for company ...

"The day Laura died, Roger and I told David ... we tried to make him understand ... But David refused to admit that she was dead.

"That night, I put David to bed. Roger was too drunk to do anything. I was just about to sing 'Millicent's Lullaby' to him when Carolyn walked by David's door. David asked Carolyn to sing it for him.

"She looked at David with a perfectly blank face, and she said, 'I am not your dead mother.'

"I slapped her, slapped her as hard as I could, so hard she staggered under the blow. When she was upright again, she looked at me with her eyes still dry and her face still perfectly blank. She walked away without a word.

"Carolyn didn't cry, but David and I did. And he said, 'My Mom is standing right there, how can Carolyn call her dead?' I didn't argue with him. I sang through my tears and held him until he said, 'It's all right, Aunt Liz. My Mom's here, I can go to sleep.' He was smiling, like he always did when he saw Laura. I kissed him and left."

There are tears running down Elizabeth's face as she says, "I went to Carolyn's room and asked her how she could say such a thing to David. She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her face was still red where I slapped her, but her expression was still blank and her eyes still dry.

"She said ... she said she wasn't allowed to love anyone. She loved her Daddy, so he deserted us. She loved her Grandma and Grandpa, so we saw them killed right before our eyes. She loved her Aunt Laura, now she was dead too. She said cruelty was the only way she could prove she did not love David and me.

"I fled. I ran away from my baby to cry into my pillow." She has been playing all this time. Now she puts her face in her hands and sobs.

Julia puts down her glass, which has been empty for a long time. She puts one hand on Elizabeth's shoulder and softly says, "Elizabeth ... " Elizabeth turns on the organ bench and buries her face in Julia's bosom. Her arms - those long, slender, strong arms - go around Julia's waist. She pulls herself closer and sobs even harder.

Julia puts one arm around Elizabeth's shoulders and strokes her hair with the other hand. She tells Elizabeth, "It's hard being the strong one, the one everyone else leans on but you have no one to lean on in turn. Well, for the next month, you can lean on me. It's all right, Lizzie, it's all right ... "

But Julia tells herself, "You lying bitch.  
It is not all right.  
It never was.  
It never will be.  
Life is pain and then you die. The best you can hope for is something to dull the pain a little. Something like alcohol, or a shoulder to cry on ... or a warm, loving body to share your bed. And all I have ... right now ... is the alcohol."

And tears run down Julia's face as thinks of what she wants to tell Elizabeth: "Count your blessings, honey. You have a child. Two children really, since you are more of a parent to David than Roger is. They are both f***ed up, but not nearly as badly as some I've seen. So count your blessings, Elizabeth Collins Stoddard."

Eventually Elizabeth's tears slow and her breathing steadies. She says, "What you said about being the strong one, it sounds like you've been there yourself."

"That long ... sea voyage, the one where I acquired my phobias of ... sea life and sunlit blue water. There were other strong people aboard, but I was the only psychiatrist for thousands of miles, at a time when I needed one myself."

Something in Julia's voice makes Elizabeth look up, and she sees Julia's tears. "Dr. Hoffman?! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laid all that on you. You're here for David, not me."

Julia wipes away her tears and says, "As a psychiatrist, I am supposed to maintain a clinical distance. I am not supposed to let the patient literally cry on my shoulder. But you are not my patient, so you go you right ahead and cry. I might need you to return the favor sometime. And please call me Julia."

"Julia. And please go on calling me Lizzie." Elizabeth manages a smile.

"Lizzie." Julia smiles too. "But I will still call you Elizabeth on formal occasions, including now." She forces her professional look onto her face.

"Wha - what are you talking about?"

"Elizabeth ... at the risk of provoking more tears, I have to ask about something you said a minute ago."

Elizabeth shivers, and takes a deep breathe. "About Carolyn and I seeing my parents killed."

"Yes. Did David see it too?"

"No. No, thank God. Let's have another drink and sit in front of the fire."

Julia tells Elizabeth, "Sure." She tells herself, "I like you more and more, Mrs. Elizabeth Collins Stoddard."

Elizabeth pours more Scotch into Julia's glass, and Scotch instead of wine into her wine glass.

They sit on the sofa in front of the fire. Julia sits at the right end, the last place on earth the late unlamented Jason McGuire sat. Elizabeth sits at the left end, where Julia will sit 3 years hence when she questions Lizzie about the bizarre English cousin. Elizabeth takes off her shoes, and draws her knees up to her chest. She puts her arms around her legs and holds herself tightly as she tells Julia how her parents died.

**Flashback, with a voiceover by Elizabeth ****at the start:  
**"It was a Sunday, two years ago. Carolyn was ten, David was four. When eight of us were going to church, we had to take two cars. But David was sick that day, so he and Laura and Roger stayed home. With only five of us going, we could have gone in just one car. But Mom and Dad were going to Portland to visit friends, so they took their car and I took my Chevy wagon.

"I'm sure you've noticed that I try to keep up appearances. My father tried even harder. He still drove a Cadillac, even though he had to buy them used. His last Cadillac was five years old when he bought it. He felt like he was letting us down buying one that old. That was only a month before he and Mom died in it.

Julia knows that Elizabeth is throwing in all these details to put off saying the really painful part. She did the same thing during her first conversation with Julia, when she told Julia about Laura's death. Julia waits patiently.

"After church we went to lunch at our favorite seafood place, at the south end of Bennett Avenue. Carolyn rode with Mom and Dad to church and then to the restaurant. That was always a Sunday treat for the children, riding with the grandparents. If that had been a normal Sunday ... then ... Carolyn and David ... would have died too.

"After lunch, Carolyn joined me and Mrs. Johnson in the Chevy for the ride home. Mom and Dad were in the Cadillac for their trip to Portland. Which is the only reason all five of us did not die that day.

"We headed north on Bennett. We were two blocks from Stanford Avenue, where Mom and Dad would have turned left to Portland and I would have turned right to go home ..."

Lamar Trask Jr., better known as "Sonny," is the only child of Lamar and Minerva Trask. He has been spoiled rotten since he could walk, maybe longer.

Mr. Trask is an executive at the Angel Bay Seafood Co. He bought the house on Ashton Street, one of the ritzy neighborhoods in Collinsport, when he finally made it to the board of directors. That was 6 years ago, when Sonny was ten.

Like the Collins family, the Trasks went to church and then to lunch. Now Sonny is free of his parents for the rest of the day. He jumps into his car and takes off to pick up his girlfriend for an afternoon date. He expects her to finally "put out" today.

He has a bottle of bourbon in the car to help her make that decision. Sonny stole the bottle from his father's liquor cabinet. It is almost empty and his father has already bought a new one. Mr. Trask drinks enough that Sonny figures he won't notice the missing almost empty bottle.

Sonny had expected his girlfriend to put out last night, on their Saturday night date. He had brought along an ounce of marijuana as a moral lubricant. Unfortunately for his libido, his girlfriend is one of those people whose biochemical reaction to marijuana is a hyperactive sense of humor. Everything he said and did, including his attempts to stimulate her erogenous zones, had produced nothing but gales of laughter. It had proved a frustrating and deflating experience.

Sonny's car is a brand new red 1967 Camaro SS396. Mr. Trask gave it to him on the previous Saturday for a 16th birthday present. Mrs. Trask was horrified. She seldom argues with her husband, but they argued about the car for hours. Sonny quickly proved his mother right in her claim that it was too much car for a 16 year old boy.

In his 1st 8 days in the Camaro, Sonny gets 3 speeding tickets and 4 of the Trasks' neighbors complain to Mr. Trask about Sonny's loud and reckless driving. Mr. Trask laughs it all off with, "Boys will be boys."

Sonny burns rubber backing out of the driveway, and again on the street. Soon he is doing 60 in a 25 zone, straight down the center of Ashton Street.

Sonny has walked Ashton Street many times. Before the Camaro, he rode his bike to school and back every day that the weather was good. And his father gave him a new bicycle every year, even if the tires on the old one were not yet worn out. He has ridden with his parents on Ashton Street a thousand times. When he was driving on his learner's permit, under the supervision of one or both nagging parents, every drive began and ended on Ashton. And he has driven the Camaro on Ashton, driven it too fast and too loud, every day for the preceding 8 days.

For all of the above reasons, part of Sonny Trask's brain knows there is a stop sign where Ashton Street crosses Bennett Avenue. A bigger part of his brain knows that a Michael Jackson song has just started on the radio - and he hates Michael Jackson with a passion. He takes his eyes off the road and his right hand off the wheel to change the radio station. He is still in that position when he runs the stop sign and rams the right side of the Collins' Cadillac.

Carolyn, in the right front seat of her Mom's Chevy, sees the Camaro coming. Her mouth is opening to scream even before the impact.

When Elizabeth sees the impact, she screams and hits the brake pedal with both feet. She was following her father at a safe distance, so one foot on the brake would have been enough. But she reacts on instinct.

Elizabeth's '57 Chevy and her father's '62 Cadillac were not built with seat belts. But in the early 1960's, before the government required seat belts in new cars, the National Safety Council began a campaign to promote the use of them. Mr. Collins reacted by having after-market seat belts installed in Elizabeth's Chevy and in the Cadillac he was driving at the time. When he bought the '62 Cadillac, he had seat belts installed in it too.

The belts Mr. and Mrs. Collins are wearing in the Cadillac are useless against the force of the Camaro's impact. But the belts in the Chevy keep Elizabeth, Carolyn, and Mrs. Johnson in their seats when Elizabeth hits the brakes.

Leticia Faye [Nancy Barrett] is a widow who lives on Ashton Street. She went to church too, but then she went home and made lunch herself. After lunch, she took her dog for a long walk. They are almost home when Sonny roars past them. She curses him and resolves to call Mr. Trask as soon as she gets home. It will be the 2nd time she has complained about Sonny's driving.

Then she sees Sonny run the stop sign and ram the Cadillac.

Leticia runs the rest of the way to her front door. It is the 1st time she has run in decades. The dog runs joyfully with her. This is the 1st time his mistress has ever run, the 1st time she has given him a chance to run with her. He is sorry it ends so soon, at the front door of Leticia's house.

As soon as she is inside the house, Leticia grabs the telephone and dials zero. She tells the operator, "There's been a terrible car wreck. The corner of Bennett and Ashton. Send the police. Send the ambulance."

Then she calls Mr. Trask. She knows she should not feel any satisfaction about what Sonny has done, but she does feel it.

Leticia and the operator don't know it, but her call to the operator was unnecessary.

Peripheral vision is how you see things out of the corner of your eye. It is very sensitive to motion. When your peripheral vision sees something moving, it is a reflex to turn your head in that direction to get a better look at the moving thing. This reflex evolved during the long ages when humankind's ancestors were prey rather than hunters, and the moving thing was likely to be a hungry leopard.

Officer Jonathan Harker, Collinsport PD, is south bound on Bennett Avenue when the corner of his left eye sees the Camaro coming. Reflex has just begun to turn his head to the left when the Camaro hits the Cadillac and pushes it clear across the center line into Harker's lane.

Like Elizabeth, Harker hits the brake pedal with both feet. He was closer to the intersection than Elizabeth was, and he really did need both feet. He stops with his front bumper less than 4 feet from the front bumper of the Cadillac.

When the car is safely stopped, Harker switches on the roof lights. Then he grabs the radio microphone to report the wreck. He requests an ambulance and 2 tow trucks. He specifies that one of the tow trucks approach the scene from Ashton Street east of Bennett Avenue.

Harker's patrol car is a black and white 1965 Ford. 1965 was the 1st model year that federal law required front seat belts in new cars. Later, when he has time to think about it, Harker will thank God for those seat belts and for Chief Patterson's order that all his men wear their seat belts religiously.

By the time Harker gets out of his car, Elizabeth is running toward the wreckage screaming, "Mommy! Daddy!" She has called them Mom and Dad for 40 years, but she reverts to "Mommy" and "Daddy" in the shock and terror of this moment.

Harker runs to intercept her. "No, Mrs. Stoddard! You mustn't touch them. If someone's neck is broken or they have internal injuries, moving them the wrong way could kill them. The ambulance crew will take care of them, they're trained for it."

He does not tell her that in his opinion, everyone in the Cadillac is dead, but the occupants of the Camaro might be alive - if they were wearing their seat belts. His opinion is based on 5 years experience as a policeman. Even in a small town like Collinsport, 5 years as a cop is enough to make you an expert on what car crashes do to human flesh.

Then Harker's peripheral vision sees something moving on his left again. He turns his head, and Elizabeth follows his lead.

It's Carolyn, walking toward the Camaro. Elizabeth cries, "No, Carolyn! The policeman is right, let the ambulance people take care of Grandma and Grandpa!"

Carolyn stops and looks at her mother. There are tears running down her face, but the expression behind the tears sends a chill down Harker's spine. He has never seen such rage and hatred on a human face. He has broken up bar fights where the participants didn't look this mad.

In spite of the look on her face, Carolyn's voice is perfectly calm as she says, "Grandma and Grandpa are dead. The bastard who killed them is still alive. I am going to kill him." She resumes walking toward the Camaro.

Elizabeth and Harker don't doubt her for a second. They run after her. Harker is wearing flats, Elizabeth is wearing high heels, so Harker gets to Carolyn 1st. He squats in front of her so he can speak to Carolyn on her own level. He has found that sometimes helps when dealing with children. "Carolyn, you mustn't ... "

Carolyn punches him in the mouth. The blow combined with his awkward position knocks him over backwards, as Carolyn resumes her march to the Camaro. By the time Harker gets back on his feet (thinking, "Jesus, how can a ten year old - a ten year old _girl _\- hit like that?"), Elizabeth has caught up with Carolyn and is struggling with her. Carolyn is screaming now, but with rage, not grief or pain. Harker joins Elizabeth, and it takes the 2 of them all their strength to keep Carolyn from reaching the Camaro.

Harker, in near desperation, cries, "Carolyn! Stop it or I'll put the cuffs on you!"

By this time, Elizabeth has a grip on Carolyn's hair. She pulls Carolyn's head back, which should hurt like hell, but Carolyn continues to scream in rage, not pain.

Elizabeth screams into Carolyn's face, "Carolyn! Don't kill him in front of a cop! Kill him when he's alone so you can get away with it!"

Carolyn sobs and reaches for her mother while crying, "Mommy! Mommy!"

Elizabeth picks her up and carries her back to the Chevy. She sits Carolyn down on the hood and they hold each other and cry. By now Mrs. Johnson is out of the car and crying. She puts one arm around Miss Elizabeth and one arm around little Miss Carolyn.

Harker thanks God Mrs. Stoddard thought of that. Then he goes to the Camaro himself. He looks inside and is shocked to see Sonny breathing, even though it is obvious he was not wearing his seat belt.

Harker runs back to his car and reports that he has a live one. Then he looks into the Cadillac through the driver's window. If what is left of Mrs. Collins is still alive, then death will be a mercy. Mr. Collins looks like his neck is broken. His left wrist is within Harker's reach, but he does not try for a pulse.

Then Harker hears a voice screaming, "Sonny! Oh, God, Sonny!"

Harker looks over the roof of the Cadillac and sees Lamar Trask running toward the wreckage. As he moves to intercept Trask, Harker thinks, "Great, just great. More f***ing relatives to deal with."

Harker stops Trask and tells him, "Your son is alive, but moving him the wrong way might kill him. The best thing you can do for him now is wait for the ambulance."

Trask argues with Harker, while Leticia Faye and other neighbors, drawn by the sound of the crash, gather around them. They tell Trask the same things Harker is telling him.

Then they all hear a siren approaching. Trask cries with desperate hope in his voice, "Is that the ambulance? Is that the ambulance?"

Harker can tell the siren is coming from the west, which is the wrong direction to be the ambulance. He looks west and sees an unmarked, solid white '65 Ford coming at high speed. The red light spinning on the roof is a Federal Signal Fireball, the kind with a magnet on the bottom and a long cord that plugs into the cigarette lighter.

"Oh, shit," Harker thinks. "Chief Patterson."

"Go on, Jonathan," says Leticia. "We'll take care of Mr. Trask."

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you, Mrs. Faye."

Harker normally doesn't mind talking to Police Chief George Patterson. But on a normal day, he hasn't been punched in the mouth by a 10-year old girl. As he runs back around the wreck, Harker squares away his cap, straightens his tie, and brushes off the seat of his trousers.

Chief Patterson [Roger Davis] and his wife went to church and then to lunch. They were almost home when Harker's 1st report came over the radio. Something in Harker's voice told Patterson that this was a really bad one. He dropped off his wife at home and then headed for the scene, Code 3.

As Patterson gets out of his car, Harker salutes and says, "Good morning, Chief."

Patterson looks at the wreck and says, "Not anymore it's not. Judging by the skid marks, you saw it happen."

"Yes, Sir." Harker tells the Chief everything, except the part about Carolyn hitting him.

Patterson looks at him and says, "What happened to your lip?"

"I was hoping it didn't show, Chief." Now he tells Patterson about the struggle with Carolyn.

Patterson says, "One of my granddaughters is in Carolyn's class, has been since kindergarten. I've heard stories about how strong and fast she is. It's a good thing you and Mrs. Stoddard stopped her or she really would have finished off young Trask."

"Yes, Sir. But how did she know her grandparents were dead and Trask was alive?"

"We don't know for sure that her grandparents are dead. We have to wait for the ambulance guys."

"Chief, with all due respect to you and the ambulance crew, you've worked on more car wrecks than I have. Do you really think Mr. and Mrs. Collins could still be alive?"

"No. But we say nothing about it until we hear from the ambulance crew."

They hear a siren coming from the north, the direction of the Collinsport Volunteer Fire Department. They look that way and see the ambulance coming. "Thank God," Harker says.

Patterson says, "I'll be with Mrs. Stoddard and Carolyn. Let us know as soon as the ambulance guys tell you anything."

"Yes, Sir." Harker salutes again and Chief Patterson walks to the yellow Chevy ...

* * *

Tears are running down Elizabeth's face as she tells Julia, "Mom and Dad were dead of course." She takes a big sip of the Scotch from her wine glass.

"How did Carolyn know?"

"I don't know. I asked her once a few days later. She started crying again. I never asked again."

"You hired me to treat David. I'll talk to Carolyn too." Julia sees Elizabeth tensing up and adds, "No extra charge. Call it the family plan."

"You'll wish you had charged extra after you talk to Carolyn." She takes another sip. "The Collins Curse is a jealous curse. If you hurt us, but the curse did not send you to hurt us, then the curse will hurt you. If Officer Harker and I had let Carolyn kill that shit Trask, it would have been a mercy to him and his parents." Elizabeth is close to being drunk.

"Brain damage? Paralysis?"

"Paralyzed from the neck down. He can blink his eyes and just barely swallow. His parents feed him baby food and change his diapers. I take no satisfaction from it, but I can't forgive them either."

Elizabeth laughs bitterly. "Among the townspeople, there are two schools of thought about the origin of the Collins Curse. One school says it's punishment for the family's mistreatment of a servant girl named Angelique Bouchard. Her descendant, the current Angelique Bouchard, is President of the Angel Bay Seafood Company. The company is the descendant of the competing fishing business started by the first Angelique after Barnabas disappeared.

"The other school says the Curse is our punishment for Joshua's snobbery against the first Millicent Harridge. The other branches of the Harridge family, descended from the brothers and sisters of the first Millicent, have been fruitful and multiplied and prospered. None of them have achieved the kind of wealth Joshua had, but all of them have done all right for themselves. Almost everyone in Collinsport has Harridge blood in them. Which means almost everyone in town is a distant cousin of ours.

"And in every generation, there has been a Millicent Harridge, who has done the best of all. The current Millicent is a Harridge both by birth and by marriage. She and her husband Kendrick are distant cousins. Distant enough that their three sons grew up strong and healthy, smart and handsome. And the children of those three sons are doing the same.

"There has also been a Jeremiah Harridge in every generation, to honor the Collins who defied his father to marry a Harridge. And now the snobbery runs the other way. No Harridge since Millicent has married a Collins."

"I saw a sign in town, Millicent Harridge Real Estate."

"Yes. She is the most successful real estate agent in Collinsport. She could sell iceboxes to Eskimos, as the saying goes. The one thing she can't sell is Collinwood."

"You've tried to sell it?"

"Of course I've tried. Replace it with something smaller, with lower taxes and lower maintenance costs. After the war, the baby boom hit Collinsport, the same as all over America. The town has grown in every direction except this one. Developers won't even look at it. Millicent got two millionaires out to look at it. One said it would cost too much to fix up. The other said it would cost too much to tear down and build what he wanted.

"And long before that, my grandfather tried to sell the Old House."

"Old House?"

"The first home of the Collins family in the New World. Where they lived during the fifteen years it took to build Collinwood. Much smaller and plainer. Joshua was planning to give it to Barnabas and Josette as a wedding gift. The overgrown fork in the driveway leads to it."

"I wondered what that was."

"Grandpa spent a lot of money fixing it up - electricity, running water, a new roof. The Jeremiah Harridge of that generation, the father of the current Millicent, couldn't sell the Old House anymore than his daughter could sell Collinwood."

Elizabeth shivers, and then begins to cry again. Julia puts her glass down and slides across the sofa to Elizabeth's side. She puts her arm around Elizabeth and Elizabeth cries on her shoulder again.

* * *

Julia is in the right rear seat of Lizzie's yellow '57 Chevy station wagon. Ten year old Carolyn is in the seat in front of her. Lizzie is at the wheel. Ahead of them is the white Cadillac of Mr. and Mrs. Collins, Lizzie's parents.

Julia sees Sonny Trask's red Camaro coming from the right. Carolyn sees it too. Her mouth is opening to scream even before the impact.

When Lizzie sees the impact, she screams and hits the brake pedal with both feet. She was following her father at a safe distance, so one foot on the brake would have been enough. But she acts on instinct.

Julia does not scream.

When the car is stopped, Lizzie jumps out and runs toward the wreckage screaming, "Mommy! Daddy!" Carolyn soon follows and begins her grim, tearful but silent march to the Camaro.

Julia takes her time getting out. There is no need for Julia Hoffman, M.D., to hurry.

The cop who got out of the oncoming police car stops Lizzie. Then they both notice Carolyn.

"No, Carolyn! The policeman is right, let the ambulance people take care of Grandma and Grandpa!"

Carolyn's voice is perfectly calm as she says, "Grandma and Grandpa are dead. The bastard who killed them is still alive. I am going to kill him." She resumes walking toward the Camaro.

Lizzie and the cop go after Carolyn. But Julia gets to her 1st, even though she is in high heels and starts from farther away. When she picks Carolyn up, Carolyn does not fight her. Carolyn sobs, wraps her arms (arms stronger than any 10 year old girl has a right to have) around Julia's neck and holds on tight.

Julia carries the sobbing Carolyn back to the Chevy and sits her down on the hood. They hold each other tight. Lizzie runs after them. When Lizzie reaches them, Julia leaves one arm around Carolyn and puts the other around Lizzie, pulling them both close. She is strong enough for both of them to cry on her shoulders at the same time.

When Chief Patterson arrives, he speaks to Julia. She is the calm one, the strong one everyone else depends on.

Then Officer Harker walks over to them and confirms Carolyn's diagnosis, Mr. and Mrs. Collins are dead.

Carolyn was already sobbing as hard as physically possible. Lizzie does not let go completely until Harker dashes her last desperate hopes. Julia helps both of them into the front seat of the car, where they can hold on to each other. She gets behind the wheel and drives them all home to Collinwood. She drives with only her left hand, comforting Carolyn and Lizzie in turn with her right.

The gates to Collinwood are closed when they arrive. But the gates, untouched by human hands, open for Dr. Julia Hoffman.

Then the alarm clock rings and Julia wakes up.

For 6 months, Julia has cried herself to sleep, or drunk herself to sleep, or both. Sometimes she has taken a sleeping pill potent enough to knock her out fast.

On her 1st night at Collinwood, Julia lay down with only a moderate amount of alcohol, no tears, and no pill - and quickly fell asleep.

For 6 months, no matter how she got to sleep, Julia woke up long before the alarm went off, woke up screaming and shivering . When she woke up screaming and shivering, she always pulled the blanket up over her head and curled up into the tightest fetal position possible, trying to get warm. It never worked, because the cold was in her head. The only thing that could make her warm was a long hot shower - even though the cold was in her head. Cold water inspired her screaming, shivering awakenings, so only hot water could make her warm.

She slept until the alarm and then awoke warm and at peace in her own bed the morning she 1st drove to Collinsport. She awoke warm and at peace the next morning, in bed at the Collinsport Inn, before she drove to her 1st meeting with Elizabeth Collins Stoddard. She awoke warm and at peace in her own bed yesterday morning - and then took the train to Collinsport.

Now, on Julia's 1st morning at Collinwood, she sleeps until the alarm wakes her up. She awakens warm and at peace - and smiling with the memory of a dream. To Lizzie, that dream would have been a horrid reliving of her parents' deaths. To Julia, it is wonderful.

"I am never leaving this house," Julia whispers to herself. "Elizabeth is committed to my being here for a month. I will spend that month working my way into David's heart and mind - and into Lizzie's bed. Into her heart too, I hope, but most definitely into her bed. And after that, I am never leaving this house.

"You see ... sometimes ... we make up a fantasy world to help us erase horrible memories from our past. But I will make up a real world, of _my_ choosing, at Collinwood ... and I will never leave it."

**NOTES  
**A. "Josette's Theme" was a staple of the music in the original _Dark Shadows _and the 1991 remake. If you are not familiar with it, please go to youtube and search "josette's music box." The hits will include 2 scenes from the 1991 remake of _Dark Shadows_:  
1\. **1991 Dark Shadows Revival-Barnabas gives Victoria Josette's Music Box  
**2\. **1991 Dark Shadows Revival - Barnabas give Josette a music box**

The 1st scene plays the music longer, and they actually dance the minuet to it.

Months ago, when I began writing "1st Nights at Collinwood," those 2 scenes were close together on youtube. Now the 1st scene is still near the beginning of the list, but I don't know where the 2nd scene is. Both of them were posted by playitagainsam15401. I suggest you watch the 1st scene and then click on playitagainsam15401 to find the 2nd scene quickly and easily.

B. Stephen King, Maine's Favorite Son of Horror, is one of those people whose biochemical reaction to marijuana is a hyperactive sense of humor. See his review of the movie _Robot Monster_ in his book _Danse Macabre_. And while you are there, be sure to read his remarks about the original _Dark Shadows_ and other Dan Curtis Productions.

C. "When the car is safely stopped, Harker switches on the roof lights."  
Harker's black&amp;white '65 Ford Custom has the same LAPD style roof gear as the black&amp;white '68 Plymouth Belvedere in Burton's _Shadows_, except Harker's siren is an old fashioned electro-mechanical "growler" instead of an electronic siren loudspeaker.

D. The red light that Telly Savalas used on his unmarked black Buick Century in _Kojak_ was a Federal Signal Fireball. The detectives on _Law and Order_ also used red Fireballs on their unmarked Ford Crown Victorias, until the last year or two of the show. Then they switched to red LED's on their sun visors.

E. I leave it to souls more poetic than mine to write the lyrics to "Millicent's Lullaby."


	2. Chapter 2 Barnabas

"Barnabas Collins 1st Night at Collinwood - in the 20th Century"

October 1972  
After Barnabas and Elizabeth make their deal in the treasure room, they return to the grand foyer. There Elizabeth introduces Barnabas to the children as their English cousin, Barnabas Collins III.

David finally shakes hands with Barnabas, and says warmly, "Welcome to America, Cousin Barnabas. And welcome to Collinwood."

"Thank you, Master David."

Carolyn says nothing. She just stares at Barnabas with hostility and suspicion. Elizabeth and Barnabas do not notice it, but Carolyn's nostrils are flaring in and out like a canine on a scent.

Elizabeth shows Barnabas to his room. Then she shows him to the room once occupied by her parents. Some of her father's clothes are still in the wardrobe. She suggests Barnabas replace the moldy, 196 year old clothes he is wearing.

Then Elizabeth returns to the grand foyer and tells David to get ready for bed. Carolyn, 6 years older, stays up later.

When David is in bed, Elizabeth sits on the edge of it and sings "Millicent's Lullaby" to him. David is now 9 years old, and Elizabeth has long expected him to say he's too old for a lullaby. She dreads the day he says that.

When the lullaby is finished, David says, "Cousin Barnabas, why did the lullaby make you sad?"

Elizabeth gasps with surprise, and turns to see Barnabas just outside the door, wearing her father's clothes and robe, and looking very sad indeed.

"Madam, I apologize for startling you. I heard your singing and was drawn to it." Then Barnabas looks at David and says, "Master David, where I am from, the melody of that lullaby is a minuet." Barnabas speaks in a voice that is just as sad as his face. "It was playing when I first asked ... a certain young lady to dance with me. We came to love each other very much. We were to be married ... but she died under tragic circumstances."

"I'm sorry, Cousin Barnabas. But that's quite a coincidence. The same thing happened to the Barnabas in the painting."

Elizabeth interrupts before Barnabas or David can take the conversation any further, and into possibly revealing directions. "I will tell Barnabas all about our ancestors, David. You go to sleep now."

"OK. Good night, Aunt Liz. Good night, Cousin Barnabas."

"Good night, Master David."

In the drawing room once more, Elizabeth tells Barnabas the story of Jeremiah and Millicent, just as she told it to Julia 3 years ago. Then she tells him about the death of David's mother and David's refusal to believe it. She does not tell him about Roger and Sebastian Shaw. And this time, she gets through the stories without tears.

Barnabas says, "I regret to say that I shared my father's 'snobbery,' as you called it, against Miss Harridge. I approved of all that he did regarding Jeremiah and the woman my father regarded as an unsuitable bride for him. I am pleased to learn that she proved us wrong, that she proved herself most worthy of the Collins name. You must show me her grave one night soon that I may place some flowers upon it in honor of her memory and her devotion to family. I must also honor her son Daniel.

"As for David's mother - do not dismiss David's belief so lightly. If I may paraphrase Shakespeare, 'There are more things in heaven and earth, _Elizabeth_, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Until an hour ago, had you ever dreamt that vampires are real?"

"No, I did not, Barnabas. You've given me a lot to think about regarding life and death."

"One night soon I must go to Widow's Hill, and there cast wreaths upon the waters below for my beloved Josette and for my brother Jeremiah. And a wreath for Laura Collins too, whatever her current status on the life-death continuum might be."

Elizabeth says, "Certainly, Barnabas." But she is thinking, "I will never cast a wreath for Jason McGuire."


	3. Chapter 3 Victoria

**This chapter is subject to revision if I think of something for Julia and Barnabas to say to each other. I have drawn a complete blank on that part. But I am so pleased with the rest of it that I will publish it now. **

**Chapter 3 "Victoria"  
**October 1972  
Victoria Winters does not hear "Millicent's Lullaby" on her 1st night in the great house of Collinwood. After seeing the ghost of Josette fall from the chandelier, she finishes unpacking and goes to bed early. Therefore, she misses the arrival of Barnabas Collins, and Elizabeth singing "Millicent's Lullaby" to David when she puts him to bed.

But on her 2nd night at Collinwood, she stays up later to finish a lesson plan for the next day. She is already in her nightgown and robe. She leaves her door open, as she always does except when dressing or going to bed. She leaves it open because she CAN leave it open. It is HER door and SHE can leave it OPEN.

She hears Elizabeth singing "Millicent's Lullaby" to David and thinks, "I've heard that melody before. The words are strange to me, but I've heard that melody before."

She gets up and walks toward David's room, thinking, "I can't ask any questions about that lullaby. I will just say 'It's beautiful.' Then maybe David or Mrs. Stoddard will tell me about it."

The more questions you ask of people, the more questions they feel free to ask you. And the more questions you answer with lies, the sooner you will be caught in one.

As Vicki walks down the hallway, she remembers that Maggie Evans' mother used to sing lullabies to Maggie, including the night before ... She stops when she feels the tears welling up in her eyes. She turns back. She wants to run back to her room, but she forces herself to walk. Running is louder than walking. Even barefoot on carpet (and it's a rather thin, threadbare carpet down the center of this hallway), running is louder than walking and Mrs. Stoddard might hear her running, and she must not hear Vicki running, she must not ask Vicki why she is running, why she is crying. Vicki closes her door quickly but silently, then throws herself on the bed. She presses her face into her pillow and prays it will muffle the sound of her sobbing.

In her tears and her haste, Vicki did not see Dr. Hoffman coming the other way.

* * *

That same night, Dr. Julia Hoffman learns that the bizarre English cousin, _not_ the doe-eyed virginal school teacher, is her real rival for the affections of Mrs. Elizabeth Collins Stoddard. Well, not her rival for Lizzie's affections, but most definitely her rival for Lizzie's time - which might be even worse.

Like Victoria, Julia missed the arrival of Barnabas Collins on Victoria's 1st night at Collinwood. After dinner, Victoria's 1st meal at Collinwood, Julia retreated to her room, seething with jealousy and frustration. Jealous that Lizzie had brought the pretty young thing into the house, and frustrated that none of her provocations at dinner got a rise out of the school teacher. She comforted herself with drink.

And now on Victoria's 2nd night at Collinwood, she grills Lizzie about the bizarre cousin while the cousin and David are out for a walk around the grounds. And once again, she gets nowhere.

When Barnabas and David return from their walk, Elizabeth says, "David, it's getting late. Time for you to get ready for bed."

"Yes, Aunt Liz," David replies. "Cousin Barnabas, would you come with me? I want to show you my dinosaurs."

"Dinosaurs?" Barnabas looks at Elizabeth and says, "With your permission, Madam."

"Certainly, Barnabas."

Julia is further puzzled to detect a note of anxiety in Lizzie's voice. What can be wrong with showing the man dinosaurs? And for that matter, why the question mark in Barnabas's reply to David?

"If you will excuse us, ladies," Barnabas says with a bow to both Elizabeth and Julia.

On their way to David's room, David and Barnabas stop to say "Goodnight" to Vicki. She smiles at both of them as she returns the "Goodnight."

Barnabas is shocked that Victoria has left her door open while clad in her nightdress and dressing gown. "Granted," he thinks, "the amount of bosom exposed by the nightdress is extremely modest by the standards of the 18th century. And the hemline is so much more modest than Miss Carolyn's scandalous dresses, but still ... Ah, there is so much in this new century to which I must adapt myself."

After David's most interesting [but puzzling] lecture on the subject of dinosaurs, Barnabas returns to the drawing room. He stops at Victoria's door to again exchange Goodnights with her. Her smile for him is even warmer without David present to observe it.

"My beloved Josette has returned to me," he thinks as he walks away. "Being locked in a box for two hundred years was the price to be paid for that joy. But she does not remember me. Perhaps with time ...

"But Angelique has also returned to my life! A far more bitter, and dangerous, price."

In the drawing room, Barnabas says, "Elizabeth, I have 'tucked in' Master David. He now awaits your nightly rendition of 'Millicent's Lullaby.' Hearing it last night saddened me so much, that I have asked him to excuse me from listening tonight. Master David has most kindly consented."

Julia realizes that she is also jealous of Barnabas' growing relationship with David. David and the bizarre English cousin have grown so close in only _24 hours_! While Julia has spent 3 years analyzing and hypnotizing the boy, and she is no closer to ending his delusion than when she started. Indeed, she is beginning to suspect ... But that's crazy [to use a word that psychiatrists usually avoid], even to a woman who was once a member of Miskatonic's DOS.

The virginal governess and the bizarre cousin - both of them threats to Julia's affair with Elizabeth and her relationship with David.

On her 1st morning at Collinwood, Julia had told herself, "You see ... sometimes ... we make up a fantasy world to help us erase horrible memories from our past. But I will make up a real world, of _my_ choosing, at Collinwood ... and I will never leave it."

Julia has succeeded in building that world, and now it faces two threats that arrived just hours apart.

And there was one horror from the past that continued at Collinwood in spite of the world Julia had built for herself there.

Aging.

"I just don't want to grow old.  
I want to be beautiful again ...  
I ... I want to live forever like you,"  
she will tell Barnabas when he catches her pouring his blood into her own veins. But even in the terror of that moment, she will not tell him the whole truth, the reason she wants to be beautiful "again," the reason she wants to live forever ...

"Please excuse me, Julia," Elizabeth says as she rises.

"Certainly, Elizabeth," Julia replies. "If your cousin will stay and keep me company in your absence." She puts her most innocent smile on her face.

"I shall be delighted, Doctor," Barnabas says.

Elizabeth looks at Julia and firmly says, "Julia, Barnabas is a guest in my home, _not_ one of your patients. Please treat him accordingly."

In spite of the "please," this is clearly an order from the Lady of the Manor, and not a request from Julia's hostess/friend/lover. [Julia has never thought of Lizzie as her boss, in spite of the $400 a month Lizzie is still paying her to treat David.] But Julia still detects another note of anxiety mixed with the tone of command in Lizzie's voice. Everyone in this house has at least one big scary secret. Lizzie and Barnabas must be sharing a real whopper.

* * *

But Julia's probing of Barnabas while alone with him proves just as fruitless as her questioning of Elizabeth. Except that Barnabas believes every word he says, just as he did at breakfast.

The probing also proves short lived.

"Maybe I should have another go at Elizabeth," Julia thinks. "I've known her so much longer, and she is lying to me about this man. I should ... "

Julia's mind slams to a stop and goes back to, "I've known her so much longer ... "

On her 1st night at Collinwood, Julia was outside David's door when Elizabeth emerged after singing "Millicent's Lullaby" to him. They had gone to the drawing room for drinks and conversation. They had done the same thing the next night: Julia waiting outside the door when Elizabeth emerged, then drinks and conversation in the drawing room. And the next night, and the next, and every night until the arrival of the virgin school teacher. Those evenings of drink and conversation had lead to so much more.

If you are in the habit of doing a thing, how do you break the habit? You stop doing the thing, of course. Tonight is about to become the _second_ night that Julia was not outside David's door when Lizzie comes out after singing "Millicent's Lullaby" to him.

Julia drains the last of her drink and sets it on the table. She rises and says, "Please excuse me, Mr. Collins,. I just remembered something I must do. Goodnight."

Barnabas rises as Julia does. "Goodnight, Doctor," he replies with a bow. "Perhaps we can continue our most interesting conversation at another time."

Julia smiles and nods, then turns and walks quickly to the door.

After Julia closes the drawing room door behind her, she takes off her high heels and picks them up - and then she runs. She can run faster barefoot than in the heels. It is the 1st time she has run since that terrible day on the ship. She was barefoot then too, on an ice cold deck, and with an ice cold wind lashing her body. But she did not feel the pain of the cold, not at the time, she was too consumed with another and more terrible pain. And she does not think about that day now, not even when she runs across the damned wavy blue-white-blue floor of the grand foyer. All she thinks about is Lizzie.

She runs through the grand foyer and up the grand staircase, and through the 1st few yards of the upstairs hallway. Then she stops and puts her shoes back on. Lizzie must see Julia outside David's door just as she has always seen Julia there, smiling and waiting for Lizzie - not barefoot and out of breath.

With her shoes on again, Julia walks quickly down the hallway - and freezes in mid-step when she comes around the bend in the hallway and sees the governess coming the other way with tears running down her cheeks.

Julia stands frozen in place until Vicki's door is shut, and then tiptoes to the door. There are 2 lines left in the lullaby, time enough for Julia to have a quick listen at Vicki's door. She presses her ear against the old wood. She can hear Vicki sobbing, faintly but clearly enough.

Julia tiptoes the 1st 3 steps away from Vicki's door, and then walks normally toward David's room. She will be in her usual position when Elizabeth comes out. She whispers to herself, "Curiouser and curiouser. I'll get your secrets yet, my pretty."

* * *

But Julia's running is all for nothing. When Lizzie comes out and sees Julia in her usual place, she says, "I'm sorry, Julia. Barnabas and I have work to do tonight." She looks both ways to make sure they are alone in the hallway, and then gives Julia a brief kiss - too brief.

Lizzie returns to the drawing room and her bizarre cousin. Julia goes to her room and the one companion she can truly rely on - the bottle.

* * *

In spite of her tears, Vicki sleeps well that night. She awakens the next morning smiling with the memory of a dream: the last notes of the lullaby's melody were playing, just the music, no singing. She and Barnabas Collins were holding hands, but in a rather bizarre way. Their hands were at shoulder height, palms down, and her fingers were resting very lightly on top of his as they moved forward in slow, small steps ... _small_ steps ... That means something, but she can not remember what ...


End file.
